I’m not sure exactly where my mood switched from being in a good one into being on the verge of blah today, but all of sudden, I felt the blues hit me. Then I felt that maybe if I punched something or someone, I’d feel better.
Sadly, I didn’t punch something or someone. I just tried to ignore that urge.
After work, I picked my dad up from his job and drove him home. I enjoy car time with my dad. We talk about everything under the sun. On this trip, we talked about my mom, what bills I needed to write checks for this week, and when he was going back on the road and how long he’d be out. Nothing in particular but everything we needed to discuss. I get my laid back attitude from my dad. I get my get it done now attitude from my mom. Opposites but complimentary to each other.
As I left, I found the brightest stars in the sky and a sliver of the moon and made my wish as I do nightly. Since my mom passed, I really haven’t wished for anything. Everything just seemed to be a stupid childhood dream. Tonight though, I found the urge to wish for all my crazy dreams, hopes, wishes, and ideas to come true. I want to own that island, the hockey team, vineyards in France, have homes in Australia and Key West, and have quarterly visits to Vegas with the girls. I want to win the jackpot lottery and take care of my dad, my sister & her husband, my nieces, and my best of best friends. I want to own my very own tapas style restaurant called Garnish and a funky restaurant called The Listening Post. I want to have my own jewelry line and my own handbag line. I want to be on the New York Times best selling list with a novel every year. I want one of my novel’s to be on Oprah’s book club. I want a novel I write to be turned into a blockbuster romantic comedy. I want that love that takes my breath away when I look at the man that I consider is my soulmate, best friend, my lover, and partner in crime. I want to own a small music club that has a recording studio in it and that takes care of the artists that come in with a warm meal, a soft bed, and a great home cooked meal. I want to save the world from hate and starvation and make a difference in the life of someone. I want to be the brightest star in someone’s sky.
That’s what I wished for tonight. That’s what I’m going to wish for every night until I have it all.
I dream big. I might not be able to hold the galaxy in my arms, but I can catch a falling star.
Listening to “Closer to the Edge” by 30 Seconds to Mars