Exist Loudly

Circle Becomes a Square

Warning: this post is going to be a bit all over the place.
First, I’ll start with my last post A Beautiful Mess. I often post things here in my blog or on Twitter and then am amazed that people read, comment, etc on anything I write, say, or post. I guess, I write/tweet to vent or share a thought but don’t expect a response so it always amazes me when I log onto my site and see responses. That was tonight. The little bullet flashed, letting me know I had several comments waiting for me. I knew my friend Amy commented on the post because I sent her an email about it. She’s in my cheering section of friends and I’m in hers. Sisters from another mister we are. So I read through her comment, my response, and read the next one and it brought me to tears. It was a blast from the past and one I never expected to hear from again. Of course, I could be wrong in who I think it is as well since they signed it as anonymous, but I’d bet good money that I’m correct. With the tears came a flood of memories and while some look back on their past with regret, mistakes, and so on, I’ve learned to look back at my past with good times, good memories, and lessons learned.
So to the commenter (is that even a word because it just sounds weird), thank you. Thank you for the memories and for all that I learned from you. You were adored and loved by my mom and by me. I hope life has been great to you.
Second, this is what I originally wanted to post about.
Circle becomes a square moments…
I’m a hockey fan. I’ve been one since 2002, been vocal about it since 2009. I’ve turned my friend Kim, aka hockey BFF, into a fan. Though mainly she goes to look at the hot players, she does understand the game and does like it. My friend Krissie, had her circle becomes a square moment when she realized what GWG meant in a tweet I had posted on Friday. Game winning goal. It might not mean a lot to anyone else, but the fact they understand me as a friends and get what I’m talking about means a lot. All 3 of us are geeks. I’m a music lover, but Krissie is a music geek. She knows every random thing about every random song. I thought I was a music geek until I met her. Kim is a college football geek. Myself, hockey geek.
Yesterday, I spent the afternoon with one of the best people on the planet, Kathy and her granddaughter Zoey and Barry. I have only seen Kathy for less than 5 minutes since my mother passed away in December. While having our Dean & Deluca day, I had a circle becomes a square moment…and that was the urge to find my writing voice again. I lost it after I finished Barfly. I have missed writing and I realized how much I need to write. I know I needed to throw it aside and let go of the death grip I had on it. I realized I can have more than one passion in life. I realized I can love writing, music, wine, and hockey with equal passion and zest. Okay, so I do love writing more than the others. If I hadn’t taken the time to spend the day in the spring sun with everyone, I wouldn’t have found the writing spark that burns inside me. I put off writing to let myself get lost in other activities I enjoy and it’s okay to do that. I don’t have to beat myself up for it and I don’t have to apologize for it.
So to all my geeky friends, you know who you are, I love that you are geeks and that you allow me to be a geek. Our passions may be different, but the passion we have for life is the string that holds us together.
Listening to “The Oaf” by Big Wreck

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