More New Beginnings

It’s been a while since I last wrote.  There’s 101 reasons why I’ve not written and 101 reasons more why I should have written but mostly, it has just been laziness.  This site crashed and I didn’t want to even look at it or think about the blogs I had lost.  I started a new project solely dedicated to my love of hockey.  My iTunes crashed and I lost 11,000 plus songs.  I actually cried over that one, and I brought home Nick, my mom’s Yorkie.  He’s been a handful but an absolute joy to have around.  I feel less insane when I’m talking character scenes out.  Not that I’ve been writing a lot.  Again, laziness and the fact that I cannot sit at a computer and force myself to write like I have before.  I haven’t written anything since January.  Yes, there has been a few starts, but my commitment to writing and finishing it has not been there.
But I miss it.  I miss writing a lot.  I have to find that spark and that drive that made me write before.  I could blame it on the death of my mom, I could blame it on the crazy busy schedule at the big girl job, but it’s neither of those.  Nothing creative dances in my head like it use to before.  I use to go to sleep with character scenes or characters developing in my mind.  There is nothing now.  Even my past characters seem dull and faded like an old black & white photo.
So as my crazy big girl job (aka the day job) slows down the first week in October and before the insanity of hockey season starts, I hope to meditate, stare into the night, let the sun shine on my face, and so on and find that spark, that joy, that love, that desire to write.
I need to find it.  I’m quite lonely without it.