Closer to the Edge

Listening to the Universe

“I pick myself up off the ground, sick to death of lying down…
You’re in my soul. You’re in my mind, but I don’t know where you are now.”

When my mom passed away, my friend and co-worker Sarah W. said, “Invite your mom to come play with you in your dreams.” For months, every night when I went to sleep, I’d invite my mom to come see me in my dreams. Hoping to talk to her one last time. The one time she did come to me a few weeks after she passed away, I woke up in a cold sweat and crying. It was far from a dream, a nightmare really, and when I tried to go back to sleep, I told her to come see me when she wanted to and that I’d be waiting for her. I never invited her to come back to my dreams again. I definitely didn’t want a nightmare like I had before. I figured if she needed to talk to me, she’d come when she was ready or when I was ready.

Fast forward to March 2011, the week of me completing the tattoo tribute for my mom, I dreamt of her every night leading up to the day I finished the tattoo. I realized it was closure. Some dreams were just dreams…we were slaying vampires and zombies (her favorite horror movies) and some were just me watching her as if she were in a movie. They always seemed very short dreams like lightning flashing across the sky. Then there were the dreams that were prophetic and I woke up questioning if it were a dream or if it was my mind wanting that dream to be the answer I wanted to hear/see.

I know I sound like a nut to those who don’t believe that something greater than we are is out in the Universe, but in my heart of hearts, I know the dreams that I had with my mom that I thought were prophetic, was her and the Universe guiding me in the right direction for my what is my future.

Another friend and co-worker, Emily B. said to me last week, “I feel that December 17th is a going to be a good day for you.” I said in return, “Well it can’t suck anymore than they have the last two years.” (My mom passed away on Dec 17, 2009 and Dec 17, 2010…well it was a year later and I was just figuring out how to live again.) Emily B clarified that I was going to see 2 of my favorite artists on May 17th and that good things seem to be around the 17th for me. Then as I FINALLY booked my flight to Australia last week, I looked at the flight numbers. Delta flight 17 out to Sydney. Delta flight 16 back. (16 is my favorite number). I emailed Emily B and told her I think she was onto something. The Universe had spoken and my eyes, my heart, and my soul was listening.

I don’t know if every 17th will surrounded by good things, but so far, so good. I just have to keep listening to the Universe, pay attention to the dreams I have, and keep my eyes on the stars. They shine and dance for us.

Listening to “Gone” by U2