I have had this idea in my head for a novel for about 13-14 years now. It is the novel I must write to exorcise whatever is making me obsess about it.
I’ll hear songs and see characters in scenes because of it. Things I see, make me think of the characters, the story, the plot.
It has seen many pages written and trashed…the word count alone on what has been discarded could be a novel or two by themselves.
Yet…I cannot bring myself to finish it.
It’s forever changing and when I flesh out whatever problems I have had with the previous version, I find another problem. The idea is far from it’s original inspiration of a nightmare I had and it has seen many elements being added and removed.
I’ve tried giving up on the writing project all together, but it sits in the corner, mocking me…taunting me. I know I have to finish it and I can’t find the answers on why I cannot finish it.
Knowing I must is just not enough and that bothers me.