Exist Loudly

Celebration of Lek

Today marks the 3rd anniversary of my mom’s death…I was some 725 miles away from my family and on the other side of the gates from my mom, but I know she, like my family were near.

I was okay through out the day…but the overwhelming sadness filled me as I drove to where I am staying right now.

Maybe year 3 of remembering is just meant to be harder. Maybe this, moving without a place to live in a strange town, having crappy credit, and missing my family, friends, and my dog made it even worse.

I know she is with me always, but sometimes a touch and to hear her say “goodnight baby” is what I want instead.

Dear Mama,
I know you are with me, but it doesn’t make me miss you any less and it doesn’t make it any easier on me. We all miss you so much. As hard as I think it’s on me or Daddy or Brenda, I think today might be the hardest on Riley. Please go her and let her know you are there. She misses you a lot, just like we all do. I love you and miss you so much. What I wouldn’t give to hear you say “goodnight baby” one more time.