N. an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat
V. be afraid of (someone or something) as likely to be dangerous, painful, or threatening
Since September is exploring and exposing myself through writing, as I walked my dog, I asked myself, what did I fear in my life?
The dark, ghosts, and spiders came to mind and about 101 more so called fears.
Then I realized, that I don’t actually fear spiders. The creep me out for sure, but I don’t fear them.
So I asked myself again, what did I fear in my life?
And it hit me.
I am fearful of the thoughts, opinions, projections, and rejections of other people on things I do, say, create, live and love.
Just like that, a ton of bricks was lifted off of my shoulders.
I am only responsible for my thoughts, opinions, projections, and rejections of what I do, say, create, live and love.
What others think, opinionate, project, reject of me is their preorogative. It’s their Universal given right to have their judgments.
If I think something of myself, I am judging myself and why would I want to judge myself.
I do, say, create, live and love the way I like. I do so in a way that makes me happy. I do so in a way that doesn’t harm others. I am okay for doing it my way and I don’t need to judge myself.
If someone thinks that I’m an oddball, strange, weird, freak, pervert, crazy, and insert whatever opinion/judgment they have of me, then it is only that…an opinion/judgment of theirs.
Not an opinion/judgment of mine.
With that realization of what my fear was, I was able to erase it. I was able to come to the conclusion that I can say, do, write, live, love in a place of honesty to me.
If I am honest with myself, then I have no reason to fear others and what they say/think of me.
I’ve told my truth.
Others judge because they haven’t told theirs yet.
Categories: Exist Loudly