When the pesky Muse strikes, she strikes hard and without warning.
On December 23rd, I was casually singing “You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. You make me happy when skies are gray. You’ll never know dear, how much I love you. Please don’t take my sunshine away…”to Nick da Dawg.
I was channeling my mom really. She sang the song to my nieces when they were babies and she would sing it to her dogs, Nick and Suzy. Nick was the essence of the sun that day. The weather was dreary and cold on Monday and it had progressively made me sadder through out the day. Not the kind of sadness where you miss someone, but the kind of sadness where you miss the sun shining and the blue skies being so bright and clear that you felt like you could flap your arms and just fly.
It was the kind of sadness that only the winter blues can bring.
And with those lyrics, a character I had created in 2008 came knocking on my door.
In 2008, we agreed I would tell her story after writing a few other stories, but I had never got around to actually finishing them.
I guess, she was tired of waiting. She knocked on the door and punched me in my face.
The last time the Muse struck this way, I wrote Barfly. Completely inspired by Ray LaMontagne’s lyrics,“Kiss me before you go. I’m going nowhere lately…”
I haven’t completed a novel since finishing Barfly in January of 2010. I had a strong feeling that with the death of my mom in December 2009, I would never be able to write again. I was afraid to face emotions in 2010. In 2011, as the need to write something other than writing for this site came to me, I found the small spark to write again, but I couldn’t piece together anything into completion. I had so many ideas and characters with stories that needed to be told but couldn’t finish them. Soon 2011 grew into 2013…I made myself a promise to write and finish one of the novels I had been working on for years (10 plus years) because this novel has been with me and haunts me in my waking hours and in my sleeping hours.
But when the Muse strikes, the Muse strikes
And she struck me with The Sound of Madness.
It may be one of my darkest characters to date. She’s dark, distant, and strong. She scares me and excites me. Her story is a black hole of twisted emotions and darkness. I have so enjoyed learning about her as each word is written and so surprised by her at times that I find myself just staring at the computer screen with my mouth hanging open in shock.
As she takes me along her journey, I learn something new about myself. That is the great thing about writing. As I learn about her madness, I discover my own. As she discovers her boundaries, she pushes me to further mine. And it is a beautiful thing.
She is a writing work in progress and I am a living work in progress. We journey together and though I don’t know how my story will end, I do know how her story will end and I can’t wait to share it with you all.
Categories: The Sound of Madness