On March 1, 2014 around 10:17 pm I completed the first draft of The Sound of Madness.
It took me 68 days total from December 23, 2013 to March 1, 2014.
Of that 68 days, I spent 30 days actually writing.
On the 38 days I didn’t write, I was probably staring at the monitor with self doubt.
On my lowest word count day, I reached 120 words.
On my highest word count day, I reached 7302 words.
When I completed the first draft, I didn’t know if I should celebrate in joy or break down in tears.
Of course I’m happy the first draft is complete, but I am also sad.
How could I be sad?
I compare reaching the end of a first draft to that of ending a long term relationship that is one emotional roller coast to hell and back.
While writing this novel, as my main character exorcised her demons and skeletons, I exorcised so many of my own demons and skeletons. Most I didn’t even know existed. I have been blinded with tears while writing, have stepped away from the monitor thinking did I just write that and have received closure on emotional wounds that I had no idea still open.
So yes, I’m happy I accomplished a huge goal I set for myself, but I am sad to see this wonderful learning relationship albeit a draining relationship end.
I also set a relatively high word count goal for myself and came nowhere near the target so along with happy and sad, I am mad and frustrated with myself.
I keep asking myself: What did I forget to write? Why didn’t I reach that target? What am I missing?
With all the all above, I have to remind myself this: It’s a first draft and first drafts are always rough, ugly, and horrible.
I did what most writers find impossible: write a first draft.
Now the next phase begins: second draft and beta readers
Categories: The Sound of Madness