Songs of My Life

Songs of My Life: June 2015

June might have been the longest month ever. From beginning to the end, it felt like it was never going to end. It was like watching the days slowly tick by like the hour hand on a clock. June beat me up a little and I’m glad it’s coming to an end. The songs for this month were songs for my soul and spirit to not give up, to not quit the fight, to not give up my dreams. The songs were anthems on how to live and to be.

“FOREST” by HOWLING
First, SACRED GROUND is one of my favorite albums of 2015. It is a beautiful album. “Forest” is my favorite track on the album by far and my spirit is one with this song…“I wanna know that the magic can come.”

“WILDFIRE” by BEAN
Love, love, love this song. It has been my anthem for the tough days this month.
“…Fight like a lion. I’ll start a riot. You can knock me down, down to my knees. Turn my bones to ashes, bury me. Rising like a phoenix, I’ll make you see I’ll burn even higher…You’re never gonna keep me down. You’re never gonna knock me out…”

“HAVE YOU EVER” by BRANDI CARLILE
This song just reminded me to breathe, to take a moment and to connect with Universe.
“You’re part of the life there, you’re part of something good…Have you ever stared into a starry sky? Lying on your back you’re asking why, what’s the purpose, I wonder who am I…Tried to get back to where you were before. You always end up not knowing where to go…If you’d ever been out walking you would know…”

“CLOSER TO THE EDGE” by 30 SECONDS TO MARS
This song is and will always be my song for my mom. A reminder that life is short. A reminder to live. A reminder to love. A reminder of her and the impact she had and still has on my life. Her birthday was on June 5th and I miss her more than words can describe, but she is with me always. This song is my connection to her. It was played more than once on her birthday and always pops up when I need to know she is near or listening to me. “I don’t remember the moment I tried to forget. I lost myself, is it better not said. Now I’m closer to the edge…One day maybe we’ll meet again…I will never forget.  I will never regret. I will live my life. Closer to the edge…”

“HEARTS THAT BLEED” by STATE OF SHOCK
iTunes on shuffle gave me this gem and I believe it was for these lyrics alone: “I don’t want to waste my life hating every god damn day away…”

“GRACE” by THE EXPLOSION
Another iTunes on shuffle gift: “We hold onto this moment all our lives..I could pass away. It still wouldn’t feel real to me. This illusive walk of death. Holding hands with skeletons…’Cause you’ve got grace on a bad day.”  Not sure if I had grace on all my bad days this month or not, but I felt a little better after listening to this song.

“27 CLUB” by IVY LEVAN
I’m not your typical female anymore. Once, I had those childhood fairytale dreams of white picket fences, love, etc, etc, etc, but as I grew older I realized my fairytale dreams were hand-me-downs that society produces. I’ll be honest. I don’t need a man to complete me. I don’t have a biological clock that ticks. I don’t want what most women want or dream of having. Personally, my want and dream is a little shack on the beach in Australia with my dog. This song is the anthem for that dream or I should say the anthem for not being a conformist to the “stereotypical woman dream”. “You tried to play it safe, but I am planning my escape. You want your picket fence, but I can’t even pay the rent…You keep it slow and steady. I am more then good and ready. You settle for second place, but I won’t even run the race…I’d rather burn out then spend my life waiting…”

“ON OUR OWN” by BOBBY BROWN
This little gem is from Ghostbusters 2. It was on more than once in the month of June and I watched it every time it was on. This song has always been one of my favorite songs by Bobby Brown and it served as a reminder to me that everyone is on their own to make their dreams a reality. You cannot rely on others. “If want something done, gotta do it yourself…Gotta make your own decisions, you gotta go for what you know. Gotta keep keep on pushing, you gotta learn to take control…”

“CAN’T STOP, GOTTA DATE WITH HATE” by LOSTPROPHETS
This song was played almost at the end of every work day. It was my outlet for stress. As I wrote earlier this month, this song was my song to remind me to not wait. To take action. To not ride up Troy’s bucket and to go in search of buried treasure.“Screaming, Andy, you’re a Goonie. Don’t you wake me up, I don’t want this dream to end…Don’t wanna wait or leave it up to fate…But believe me, I know it will always be moving…”

“FORGET” by STOKESWOOD
“You try to shed the light on all this information…but you’re wasting all your time. You’re wilting in your prime and you just don’t seem to mind…Forget where you come, learn to live. Forget where you come from, live again…” I wrote about this song and that there comes a time, a point, a something where I just have to put up the wall, the bubble, the attitude, and say “fuck right off”. My spirit was almost broken. This song saved me and inspired me.

ROOFTOPS by LOSTPROPHETS
Another life anthem for me. “All the love I’ve met, I have no regrets. If it all ends now, I’m set…Standing on the rooftops, this is all we got now, scream until your heart stops, never gonna regret watching every sunset…Scream your heart out…”