Exist Loudly

The Crab Trap of Life

“I think it’s time to check the crab trap of life once more.” ~ Jimmy Buffett

We all fall into place in our lives…a place of compliance, a place of fear, a place of inspiration, etc. I’ve had this feeling of falling into a place with people I know. A place where I have realized I have outgrown some and some where I am ready to let go because the fight isn’t going to be worth the end result. As they say friends come into our lives for a reason, season, blah, blah, blah. Some wax poetic about friendships, I call it weeding my garden of friends. Some flowers become weeds. Some weeds become flowers, but sometimes, as inspired by the Jimmy Buffett lyric, “I think it’s time to check the crab trap of life once more” one needs to just check the crab trap and make sure the ones in the trap belong.

You know, if you open the crab trap and it’s filled with freaking snails, then maybe you’re in the wrong part of the water or “casting” a line for the wrong kind of friends. You can’t attract a shark with deer bait and you can’t attract great friends when you hang out with poorly chosen friends.

Priorities in life change for everyone…family, careers, love, friends, etc. For me, my priorities were family, work and then it became work, friends, family, and then it became work and now it’s myself and family. To say I couldn’t care about anything other than those two things wouldn’t be far from the truth, but it wouldn’t be all of the truth. The truth is my friends are my family as well. Some are more like distant relatives you see at funerals and some you see on special occasions. What I’ve realized is that the family you see on special occasions and funerals, really aren’t your family or friends at all.

The ones that aren’t your family/friends are easy to spot if you open your eyes, heart, and mind. They are the ones that are the naysayers and negative Neds/Nancys of the world. The ones that put down your hopes and dreams. They don’t inspire, motivate, or better you. They just bring you down. Those are the ones I’m weeding from my garden.

And you also already know which family/friends are good for your heart, mind, soul, and spirit. They’re the ones that you can pick up where your friendship “left right off” after one week, one month, one year, etc. They’re the ones you have a ridiculously close bond with and you don’t need to talk to each other all the time. The ones who love you for you and your crazy and ridiculous dreams and plot ways with you to make it happen. The ones that ask, what can I do to help make it come true?

Those are the friends you hold close and never let go.

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