Exist Loudly

Vital Signs

I have a “Goliath” that is physically, mentally, and emotionally making me sick. It has put more fear in me than it should have. I have realized how much mental, emotional, and physical energy I HAVE ALLOWED myself to put into this fear and how much it has flatlined my soul. It made me realize that I have still been doing the “Dead Living” I wrote about last month.

Fear is an evil bastard and this “Goliath” of mine and the fear I have of facing him is scarier than packing all your belongings you can into one bag and trying life on another continent.

I can’t continue to let my fear of “Goliath” slowly kill my conviction, my knowing, and belief in my dream. Realizing the fear has been making me sick took a while and it hit me through the lyrics of the song “Vital Signs” by Saint Hughs.

Thank you Universe for giving me the “Wake up the fuck up, Shelia! Wake up!” call.

“All dressed up with your good intensions. Hand me outs you’re so proud to mention. Believing this will be beneficial…Your vital signs are missing…”

All that energy I was putting into said fear of Goliath stops now as it has slowly been draining me like a goddamn emotional vampire of believing in myself and my dream. I just grabbed the defibrillators and kicked my own ass back into gear. My vital signs are no longer missing. They’re ready to stand up and fight without fear.