Exist Loudly

Gratitude for Truths

First, let me be completely honest and upfront, I think only a handful of people actually read anything I write here or in real life (the novels I’ve written). It’s that defeatist self of my brain. My delusional ego writer self says everyone who follows along social media reads everything and screams “it’s midnight and I’m not famous yet!” Reality is, I know I can count on at least two people to read anything I’ve ever written (and no, not my parents).

Having said that, when someone reaches out and says*, “I read your post this morning on your Truths. Wow and thank you for sharing such raw and to the core feelings. So many things you said so well I can relate to that I battle to change or try to do better based on past experiences or just who I am. I found my self saying “yes!”, laughing, and a few tears as I was reading. Thank you for reminding me what my truths are, even with all the noise, and tampering of issues I think ultimately it makes them the awesome person they are.”

I cried.

Good tears.

My whole life and that’s no exaggeration there, I’ve said this to myself: “If I can make a difference in ONE person’s life, my life has not been wasted.” That was the thing I clung to when I was battling my depression and thoughts of suicide. I just wanted to make a difference in someone’s life. Anyone’s life, because at the time of the mental demons, I told myself I wasn’t really doing a great job of making a difference in my own life. I have made the difference in one person’s life and to be honest there has been more than one, but sometimes I get so wrapped up in that negative-you-suck-and-haven’t-accomplished-shit-in-your-life that I forget I have made a difference. So as much as I received a thank you from the person above, I must thank them as well for reminding me that my words aren’t wasted on thin air and why I write.

The person who wrote to me above, has such a beautiful spirit and soul. Their energy doesn’t lie. I am grateful for their presence in the life of someone I consider one of my dearest friends because through their relationship, I get to have their energy in my life too. We’re oceans apart but I will always be there for them.

This is why I write. This is why I write here. I don’t mind exposing myself if it helps someone remember their truths and if through remembering their truths, they remind me why I write, it’s win-win.

* posted with permission – THANK YOU FOR BEING A WONDERFUL PERSON!