Songs of My Life

Songs of My Life: November 2016

November felt like it moved as slow as molasses on a winter day. There was something askew with November. I felt as I was walking through a haze, a cloud but maybe Lorelei Gilmore said it best in the episode of “Fall” in Gilmore Girls, “I feel like I’m standing still.” I just felt off this month. Maybe it was my vibrational energies, my biorhythms, it being Scorpio season, or the Super Moon that was on the 18th. November was just off. Though I felt off, especially the last 2 weeks of the month, it was a good month. Videos at the bottom or click HERE

“Rate of Change” by Models
Kicking of November is this fantastic instrumental by the Models. I like it because I feel like I should be on an island and since spring is in high gear it’s very apropos for the season. Besides, I’m a sucker for steel drums and that so called “island sound”.

“Sail on Sailor” by Jimmy Buffett
Honestly, don’t remember why I added this song into the November list. Maybe it was just a mental note to myself that no matter what happens, you sail on. You move on. You don’t stand still. you move.

“Sleeping Beauty” by Divinyls
Another, I’m not sure why I added this song to the list. (See, November has been off. Even my Songs of My Life notes reflect it…as in the notes are minimal at best.) I’ve become a huge Divinyls fan in the last few month thanks to Nick. I am currently half way through Chrissy’s autobiography and her life is an amazing one. The things she’s done and experienced is amazing. Though my life is far from paralleling hers, I feel a connection to her story. Maybe it is that loner, shy girl whose facade is balls to the wall. I understand her loneliness and her need to create.

“Nail in My Coffin” by The Kills
I love The Kills. Allison’s voice is just amazing to me. When she howls, you feel that beast within her. When she’s sad, those emotions pour through. These lyrics are the reasons this song is on here: “What you are to me is far too unclear. Could be a nail in my coffin and I don’t need another one. Could be a nail in my coffin and Lord knows I ain’t ready yet. Could be a nail in my coffin and I don’t need another one. Could be a line I’m crossing and I am never gonna get back from…I am no better at this than you are. Loneliness never truly leaves me alone. I have made mistakes I can’t take back home. I love you just not the way you want…”

“I Dare You” by Shinedown
I will always be a fan of Shinedown. Hell, I wrote an entire novel inspired by their album, THE SOUND OF MADNESS. (Buy it or read samples.) This song though, is from their album US AND THEM and has always struck a chord with me. I understand these lyrics very well: “Even in madness, I know you still believe…I dare you to tell me to walk through fire. Wear my soul and call me a liar. I dare you to tell me to walk through fire. I dare you to tell me. I dare you to…”

“Back to the Wall” by Divinyls
This is why I connected to the song: “I’ve been holding back all my tears. Just so the pressure don’t show. Like a time bomb ticking away. I might blow up some day. Don’t push don’t shove. Better watch what you do. When my back’s to the wall, I might do anything at all. When my back’s to the wall, I might take any chance at all. When my back’s to the wall. I might do anything…” Chrissy says in her book she doesn’t like to be controlled and I get that 110% having been in a relationship where someone wanted to control me and I let it happen. After that ended, I vowed to never let that happen again. I didn’t in personal relationships but in work relationships I did and end up snapping. This song reminded me to always stand up for myself.

“Run to Paradise” by Choirboys
This song and the one by Thirsty Merc below is the epitome of summer time songs.

“In the Summertime” by Thirsty Merc
See the above note. Summer is coming here in Australia and as much as I am not looking forward to the high temps, I am looking for that energy only the summer can bring.

“Sister Golden Hair” by America
This song will always remind me of my mama. We lived in Parachute, CO in a camper while I was in the 2nd grade. My dad’s sister and her family lived in the camper next to us. 
I have this particular memory from this time of my mom and aunt dong aerobics to America’s “You Can Do Magic”. Though “Sister Golden Hair” is a far cry from the other, the bus driver on this particular morning was rocking out to this song and I just knew my mom was with me that day. I’ve missed her a lot more than usual this month. What I wouldn’t do or give to hear her say “goodnight baby” one more time, to see her cock her head to the side, or just feel her hug.

“Tower of Snakes” by Eighteen Visions
I will always have a soft spot for 18V. Always. I was beyond crushed when they broke up as they were one of those bands that just fucking knew how to rock but the rock-n-roll world isn’t usually kind to acts and they fell victim to the system. This song and album though were released on Trustkill records before 18V signed to the majors and this song still rocks my face off! I love these lyrics: Are you running away from you? Are you running away from me? Are you running? You showed me what I should see, but I’m still blind and I can’t breathe…”

“Damned If She Do” by The Kills
These lyrics kind of summed up my mental space this month: “She damned if she do. She damned if she don’t…There’s been a perception of sweet hearts passing through. Some of them left no trace at all. Some left her black and blue…Some of them left in one piece and some she damn near broke. And I am no stranger to the strange all his ways. What could be stranger than to be stuck outside your cage…”

“As the World Falls Down” by David Bowie
I love David Bowie. That is all. I could just listen to his albums for the rest of my life and be fine. These lyrics. That is all. There’s such a sad look deep in your eyes, a kind of pale jewel. Open and closed within your eyes. I place the sky within your eyes…A love that will last within your heart. I’ll place the moon within your heart. As the pain sweeps through…But I’ll be there for you as the world falls down. Falling. Falling in love…”

“Love Lockdown” by Kayne West
Never in a million years would I have bet that a Kayne song would end up on any of my “Songs of My Life” lists. Never. But I actually like this song by him. It’s one of the few that isn’t obnoxious. I personally love the bass in this song but these lyrics are why the song is on here this month: “…I’m not loving you, way I wanted to. I can’t keep my cool, so I keep it true. I got something to lose, so I gotta move. I can’t keep myself, and still keep you too. So I keep in mind, when I’m on my own somewhere far from home, in the danger zone. How many times did it take til I finally got through you…lose, you lose. I’m not loving you, the way I wanted to. See I had to go, see I had to move. No more wasting time, you can’t wait for life. Were just wasting time, wheres the finish line. So keep ya love lockdown…I bet no one knew, I got no one new. Know I said I’m through, but got love for you…Gotta keep it going, keep the loving going. Keep it on a roll, only god knows. If I’ll be with you, baby I’m confused. You choose…”

“Believer” by American Authors
I’ve always dug this song and this month, it sums up who I am: “I’m just a believer that things will get better. Some can take it or leave it but I don’t wanna let it go. I’m a little bit sheltered. I’m a little bit scared. I’m a little bit nervous. I’m goin’ nowhere. I’m a little bit jealous. I’m a little bit slow. I’m a little bit hurtful…I’m a little bit angry when everyone’s around. But I get a little lonely, when no one’s out. I feel my demons misleading me…”

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