feeling-blah-boatExist Loudly

Feeling Blah

This has been a shitty week for me emotionally, mentally and spiritually. It might be remnants of November or it could be this is the week my mama passed away 8 years ago.

There have been nights where I can’t stop crying and days where I’m so hurt I’m past the point of caring and feel like screaming fuck off/fuck you.

Mostly I’m at the point of not feeling. I don’t want to feel. I don’t want to care. I don’t want emotions. I don’t want a heart. I don’t want a mind.

I want to push everyone away and just be alone. It feels safer that way. Me against the world. Just me.