Songs of My Life

Songs of My Life: May 2019

Musically, the songs of May may not have been about patience, but I feel that was what I was suppose to learn this month. Patience. Patience with myself, my soul, my spirit, my physical journey and patience with others.

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“Rainin'” by Sponge (Live at Rock Ring version)
This will always be one of my favorite Sponge songs and this beauty spun into my life the first weekend of May. The entire Rotting Piñata album has a spot in my heart as it was my best friend through some of my darkest depression and this song just reminded me of how far I’ve come from when the dark seemed the darkest.

“Millstone” by Brand New
The. entire. song.

“You Don’t Know What it’s Like” by Econoline Crush
There are some songs that just take one back to a pinpoint in time and this is one of them. When this song came out in 1999, I was dating someone who did not understand my depression. And these lyrics, still sum up what I was feeling then: “You don’t know what it’s like. I feel like nothing at all. You don’t know what it’s like. I feel insignificant. I feel nothing at all.”

“Back to Free” by Drake White
You can take the girl out of the South but you can’t take the South out of the girl. Living in Sydney is fantastic because while it’s a big honking city, I’m always walking distance away to where I can put my bare feet in the grass, climb a tree or just sit in the sand and watch the sun set. This song reminded me to do that more often and these lyrics: “I gotta get back to climbin’ up that old oak tree. Back to the mud underneath my feet. Back to a simpler state of mind, an easier life, an easier time…Back to real, back to me…”

“Pittsburgh” by The Amity Affliction
Walking to training one morning, this song blessed my ears. And while lyrically, this song beautifully sums up what it feels like to battle mental illness, it was soul pumping, because I was tired. I wanted to be asleep instead of walking to the gym. But it gave me the energy to hit the iron and lift.

“Hail to the King” by Avenged Sevenfold
I basically played Spotify’s Metal Essentials every day at work. Some people need quiet, some people need ambience, I need music. And this song gave me life as the 3pm mental wall hit.

“Master of Puppets” by Metallica
Another song from the playlist…god damn this song is still good. Raise your fist and devil horns!

“Nothing to Give” by Unkle
2 reasons this song is on here. EVERY. TIME. I. HEARD. IT I thought it was 26. It’s not. The other reason, it’s damn catchy and when you’re walking in pre-sunrise to train…you need something to make you go go go.

“Weit Weg” by Rammstein
FUCKKKKKKKKK. NEW. RAMMSTEIN. The whole album is fantastic. This is currently my favorite song. This band just knows how to nail lyrics to song. In English, the song is about a peeping Tom watching his obsession.

“Freakazoid” by Silversun Pickups
I just love the chorus. It’s so damn catchy and it’s Silversun Pickups!

“Close to the Edge” by Thirty Seconds to Mars
This song will ALWAYS bring me to my knees in tears. On the last day of the month as I packed for a much needed weeklong vacation with my spirit and soul tank was empty, my physical tank red lining at the “E” of exhaustion, this song came on. My mama let me know she was there. She let me know I was going to be okay.

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