Barfly: Chapter Twenty-Four

“I am not wearing this dress,” I said and walked into my living room.

Walsh let out a slow whistle.

“Gross, you’re my brother.”

“It does look good on you,” Mika added.

“It’s too tight,” I said, tugging at the waist of the dress. “I’ll suffocate while I’m there. I need to be comfortable while I’m doing this reading. I don’t need to pass out in front of everyone due to lack of oxygen.”

“Go try the other one then.”

I looked at Walsh with begging eyes and he shook his head at me. He pointed at Mika, made a slashing motion at his throat, and shook his head more. Rolling my eyes, I walked back into my bedroom and slammed the door shut.

Once Mika started to like the idea of the way to early book reading, she had decided that everything I had in my closet was atrocious and sent her ass kissing assistant shopping. Half the items he purchased were inappropriate for any woman to wear at any age and the other half were things I would not be caught dead in. She had her useless assistant return everything and went shopping herself. She obviously thought I liked my self-image and purchased items that hugged every inch of my body. My brain laughed at each dress and sighed with relief when I tore them off.

Staring at the last dress, I prayed that I would like it. It was black and it was simple. I slipped the dress over my head and shoulders and sighed as it slide down over my body. I wrapped the red belt around me and smiled at my reflection. Now this was me. “Houston, we have a winner.”

I opened my bedroom door and walked out with a smile beaming across my face. “This is the one.”

“Breakfast at Tiffany’s anyone?” Walsh asked with a smile.

“You like?”

“You look beautiful baby sister.”

“Thank you.”

“Okay, so now the dress hunt is done, I am going to go pick Maddie up and I’ll meet you at the bookstore. Save me a seat up front.”

“I will,” I said as he kissed my forehead. “See you later.”

“How are you going to wear you hair?” Mika asked once Walsh had left.

I shrugged my shoulders. “I’ll figure it out,” I said. “Don’t you have to go get ready?”

“I am ready,” she answered. “I’m leaving here and heading straight to the bookstore to make sure everything is set.”

“Then leave so I can get ready.”

“You sure you don’t need anything?”

I nodded. “I’ll see you at the book store.”

“All right. Dress looks great. Walsh is right too. It’s very Hepburn.”

“Thank you too,” I said, following her to the door.

“You sure you’re all set?”

“Yes,” I sighed, pushing her out of the door. I closed and locked it. Walsh and Mika thought they had me fooled, but they were wrong. They knew I hadn’t heard from Stellan since I had dropped by his house, and they both that I was going to have a nervous break down during the reading. What neither of them knew was that I was officially trying to let go of Stellan. I meant what I said in the letter I wrote him. I had said what I needed to say and I was letting go. I was trying to anyway.

Yes, I was sucking at letting go, but I realized that the big girl world and my big girl dreams might not be able to coincide in the same place.

Big girl world…one.

My big girl dreams…zero.