If you don’t know, I’m a barfly at The Gin Mill. It’s a fantastic bar and I have my friend Tim to thank. I remember the days where it would be just me and him, sitting at the corner, drinking shot for shot, with just Holly and Chris. Now, I still sit in the corner when it’s open, I still do shots, but it’s no longer just the four of us but a plethora of people…some I know…some I don’t. I have made friends there, some just bar friends and drinking friends, some outside of the bar friends, but whenever we are at The Gin Mill, we are all just friends. The “usual suspects” are always friendly and ready to welcome a stranger…sometimes, if you’re sitting near the regular crew, you might get lucky and get a shot/drink and one is always in for a good story or round of laughter.
This won’t make a lick of sense to anyone who doesn’t know The Gin Mill, but for several weekends, we wrote down things that made us erupt into laughter. Some are stupid, some are “you had to be there,” and some are down right funny. (My favorites are in bold)
Here’s The Gin Mill Life in Quotes for the month of June (thanks to EB for writing these down and of course the cast of characters that make up the Gin Mill):
“I have something inappropriate to say, but we’re not going to write it down.”
“Chocolate rocket!!”
“Right is not all its cracked up to be.”
“If you’re not winning, you’re losing.”
“I want a taco.”
“Rob has a small head.”
“I know Holly.”
“Hi, my name is Parker, but my mama calls me knucklehead,” Holly quoting her son at the pool.
“We went to high school together.”
“Merry fucking Kwanzaa.”
“Maybe her…maybe her…”
“Maybe him…maybe him…”
“Everybody DOES need a banana for a road trip.”
“…AND…SCENE…”
“I totally feel like I’m violating a 13 year old.”
“The Rob Linders Tour 2011.”
“Hand in pockets.”
“Dance off…pants off.”
“Where’s the dancing Arab when you need one? OOOH. I found one!”
“Tweet THAT BITCH!”
“I’m drunk enough that I’d fuck him.”
“I think I have a lazy ovary.”
“I can’t get hammered, but I’ll do a shot.”
“Over served and poorly chaperoned.”
“Another cocktail…and hold the tail.”
“Well…bless…”
“You’re so pretty…bless.”
“You mean to tell me there are 2 dancing Arabs??”
“I don’t wanna split hairs, but they might be Egyptian.”
“No bad life choices…no captain negativity.”
“Don’t date your sister.”
“I smell threesome.”
“Remember to swallow.”
“I need something in my mouth.”
“There’s a pap for that.”
“Don’t get fancy, just get dancy.”
“We’ll never be anything but wrong.”
“World’s smallest planter.”
“If you don’t love the beaver, you don’t love yourself.”
“I cry after sex.”
“Am I crushing your leg?”
“Good Time Activist.”
“Birthday day.”
“I thought this was suppose to dissolve!!”
“DJ Spectacular at the Men Mill Marys!”
“What kind of beer goes with guns like that?”
“That was a lil’ slobbery.”
“I love my taco.”
“I bet you wanna nestle in my jammers.”
“Couples skate only, please.”
“Are you really going to give me a hand job?”
“Nothing good can come of brown.”
“You can spank me if you want to.”
“I can’t hear you over my guns?”
“I wanna know about your BJU experience.”
“Red Donkey? Red Baron? No! Big Red? Big Ben!”
“The lady with the dog. Dong? No! DOG!”
“Welcome to the Gin Mill, it’s the day of death.”
“It’s like Satan’s asshole out there.”
“Mafia Wives…those are some mean women, man!”
“What’s it like to have just one miserable day?”
“My penis is a Jedi. Obi Wan. Obi Wan.”
“Did you yell at her and tell her that her mother wasn’t in heaven?!”
“That’s why you can never judge a book by its softness.”
“You went from bad to worse.”
