All I can say is I am glad July is ending. It’s been a doozy. Maybe the toughest month of 2017 to date. Despite the darkness of July, the heartache, the tears, it gave me wonderful songs that for the most part, lifted my soul and spirit. Listen/watch HERE or below. Spotify users can listen HERE, minus the Linkin Park cover of “Rolling in the Deep”.

“It’s Not Right but It’s Okay” by Whitney Houston
Sasha Velour freaking sa-lay-ed, slayed the lip sync to this on the final of RuPaul’s Drag Race and a few days later as I laid awake in bed at a god awful time on a Saturday morning, this song would get me moving. We all get hurt. It’s never right, but in the end, it’s okay. We get up and move the fuck along. “It’s not right but it’s okay. I’m gonna make it anyway…I’d rather be alone than unhappy…”

“If I Told You That” by Whitney Houston and George Michael
Well, this song nailed it this month for me. I am in love and love someone, he only sees me as a friend. I’ve finally come to terms to with it or at least my head has come to terms with it. My heart kind feels the lyrics to this song. “Now tell me how you feel if I told you that I have feelings for you and would it be so wrong to say what’s on my mind. I’m sorry I have to. We were friends but with time what I feel inside for you has changed, but I’d give up on love, if I thought that it was untrue for you…I know that we were just friends but what if I decide to bring somethings in. I hope it won’t offend the trust we have cause I don’t want this to end. If you think that we’ll lose what we have, then I’d just rather stay the same. Cause I don’t want to choose between two of the most precious things to me…” It’s untrue for him. Therefore, now he’s just a “flat front Ken Doll” friend for me.

“Wonder” by Naughty Boy & Emeli Sande
God this song makes me feel invincible, powerful, and that the Universe has my back. “I can beat the night, I’m not afraid of thunder. I am full of light, I am full of wonder…When everything feels wrong, and darkness falls upon ya. Just try sing along, this is a message from Cabana. If your heart turns blue, I want you to remember. This song is for you, and you are full of wonder…”

“Low” by Todrick Hall featuring RuPaul
This song is here for fun. For smiles. For shaking your ass when you’re blue. It was rough month so I listened to the hell out of this song this month.

“New Leaf” by Zen from Mars
Discovered Zen from Mars while looking up the date Kik Tracee released their album NO RULES. This is from KT’s singer, Stephen Shareaux, who I might say still makes me weak in the knees with his voice and looks. Stephen once a black haired raven with blue eyes is now a silver fox and damn did that man age like a fine wine. Any who…this song, “I got nothing to lose. I got nothing to hide. Turning over a new leaf and I feel so alive. Keeping nothing inside.”

“Glorious” by Macklemore
Another song to lift the spirits. If you don’t feel better after listening to this or watching the video, then you need your pulse checked. “I feel glorious, glorious. Got a chance to start again…I made it through the darkest part of the night and now I see the sunrise. Now I feel glorious, glorious…”

“Sheila Says” by Jimmy Buffett
First, yes, one of the reasons I love this song is that it has my name in it. Second, the lyrics. Lord, do they mean something to me. Always have. Always will. Mean a lot this month: “But now and then one comes along and lights up my world like a song
I am tempted to unleash my interest. Yet I put it to you man’s best friend. There’s just one sad old way it can end…You’re better off with a dog. Sheila says the heart’s just a muscle…” I’ve always kept my heart guarded until the last year and half and I think it’s time to put that wall back up, perhaps for good and return to the belief that the heart is just a muscle and nothing more.

“Dakota” by Stereophonics
I love Kelly Jones’ voice. He could sing the ingredients on the shampoo bottle and it’d be amazing. These lyrics: “You made me feel like the one. Made me feel like the one. The one. I don’t know where we are going now…”

“Sugar” by Editors
THE WEIGHT OF YOUR LOVE album might be my favorite Editors album and this song always brings me to my knees. It’s just one of those songs that hits you in the guts. The lyrics: “There’s sugar on your soul. You’re like no one I know. You’re the life of another world. You swallow me whole with just a mumbled hello. And it breaks my heart to love you…”

“Secret Dreams” by Bon Jovi
This little gem popped up on shuffle on a Saturday afternoon. I had completely forgotten what a song this was from 7800° FAHRENHEIT.

“Rolling in the Deep” by Linkin Park (Adele cover)
Have to thank Rohauer for this one. He shared it on Facebook. Chester was one of those rockers who could belt out a tune and this cover showcases the talent of his voice. He wasn’t just a screamer but a talented voice. His voice will be missed. I wrote about his suicide HERE. If you are contemplating suicide, know you are not alone.

“Keep Myself Awake” by Black Lab
As I wrote in my post The Greatest Trick the Devil Ever Pulled, I had not even thought about this song for quite some time but it popped up and reminded me of past depression struggles and how I will always be okay in the end, no matter how much I struggle to get to the finish line.

“79 A.D.” by Models
This song comes courtesy of Nick. We went to see “Escape from Pompeii” exhibit at the Maritime Museum and as we were traveling back in time, he told me about this song which is about what we were looking at.

“So Much Love” by Depeche Mode
It’s rare I have a song that shows up on back to back months but this song did. Last month it wasn’t anything specific that drew me to this song, but this month, these lyrics: “I can’t lie. I can’t fake. I can’t act. My hands shake. There’s disclosure. I must make. There is so much love in me…”

“Talking to Myself” by Linkin Park
I think this is a good way to end July. These lyrics: “All the walls that you keep building. All this time that I spent chasing. All the ways that I keep losing you. The truth is, you turn into someone else. You keep running like the sky is falling. I can whisper, I can yell, but I know, yeah I know, yeah I know, I’m just talking to myself…”

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=videoseries?list=PL801EdtjRumksdM7RkujuYHJOwIOsBeL_?ecver=1]