Songs of My Life: November 2016

November felt like it moved as slow as molasses on a winter day. There was something askew with November. I felt as I was walking through a haze, a cloud but maybe Lorelei Gilmore said it best in the episode of “Fall” in Gilmore Girls, “I feel like I’m standing still.” I just felt off this month. Maybe it was my vibrational energies, my biorhythms, it being … Continue reading Songs of My Life: November 2016

Songs of My Life: October 2016

Musically, the songs of October were mostly personal notes to myself. Reminders of what I was feeling and that it’s okay to feel it. Notes that reminded me to smile even though “worry and change spun me around and my big old heart has been ripped right out.” Notes that sang that it’s okay to be “here and heartsteady”, notes that let me know being who I am and the way I am is just fine even if someone might not understand how I work and notes that said it’s okay to be by the side of someone you deeply care for even if they might not feel the same or would do the same. The month ends with Lady Gaga and her song a “Million Pieces” and it’s a perfect ending to October and in reflection sums up a lot of 2016…A million reasons to walk away but just needing one good one to stay. For me, in October, I didn’t battle my demons, I battled on not giving up on dreams. Specifically, my Australia dream. Within 2016 alone, I was given a million reasons to give up on my Australia dream and each time I thought about quitting, the Universe gave me a reason not to quit. October gave me one good reason to stay.

Continue reading “Songs of My Life: October 2016”

Songs of My Life: May 2016

Mentally, I was all over the goddamn place for May. Most of it was in a good headspace but damn the days where it was a bad headspace. I’m good at recognizing patterns my brain takes and signs of where it’s going to fuck with me so I can luckily do a preemptive strike on most of those bad headspace days but the days I couldn’t stop it from happening seemed like what the fuck moments times a billion. I survive though. Mostly through sheer will and my sidekick, music. Some of those bad headspace days, you just crawl into your bed, pull the blankets over your head and go to bed the moment your day ends and some days you share those bad headspace days with someone and their simple words of understanding help more than they know. Continue reading “Songs of My Life: May 2016”