I know exactly the point in the day on Monday when it said, “Let’s kick Shelia in her imaginary balls.”
It was a few minutes right after 8:30 am.
I like to get to work between 8:00 to 8:15 am since it starts at 8:30 am. I get all the email I need downloaded, open the websites to admin, and get ready for the day. Around 8:45, I go for coffee or hot chocolate or eat my yogurt or finish my shake. It’s a nice calm morning…usually.
Monday was throw everything we got and see what breaks her.
Monday was a series of headaches, reschedules, miscommunications, things falling through the cracks & the wayside, and things making me wish I could just go the hell home and have a do over.
Tuesday was just as bad. Change the schedules again. Swallow my pride and just nod along or again, just beg for the day to end.
Wednesday, today, I was bound and determined to have a fantastic day. By 9 am, I wanted to crawl into the fetal position and have a good cry or drink myself into a blind stupor. I work hard to stay on top of things and when someone doesn’t read an email or follow through, I take offense to it…especially if you’re going to throw me under the bus. I’m also only one person, covering two stations, working with a dozen different personalities/work ethics, and trying to keep about a dozen balls juggled in the air.
I have a job that isn’t normally stressful. The stress I do sometimes feel is something I usually leave at the office or shrug it off. This week, it’s gotten to me. I haven’t had a raise in years and before picking up a few extra events here and there made that okay. If I pick up an event here or there now, I’m only comped the hours for extra days off. Which is great if I could take a day off or take a mental day. The stress today was just freaking painful because I feel a cold coming on. I have that tickle in my chest, the cough in my throat, the ache in my back, and the chills that putting on a sweater or turning on a heater doesn’t make go away.
Here’s the thing: I CAN’T GET SICK.
I can’t afford it. When I go on vacation, I bust my ass for three weeks just to be able to turn off my cell phone for a week. I then play catch up for two weeks just because I was gone a week.
More than anything, I think I’m frustrated. I’m not Super Woman. Every now and then, I want to be able to unchain myself from the desk and take a moment to breathe. I’ll bust my ass any day without complaining but you gotta work with me people. If you except 110% out of me, then I’m matching you and expecting 110% out of you.
