I walk every day to work. It’s not a hard walk. Relatively flat and it’s a little over 5.4km (3.36 miles) round trip. There are days it sucks (rainy days), but mostly it was a way for me to do a little bit of exercise every day. Was it moving mountains? No. But it got me off my ass. Getting up early wasn’t an option and working out after work was laughed at by me.

On my way to & from work, I pass mostly the same people and definitely the same businesses and buildings. Nestled quietly on this walk is the training centre I currently attend. Joining a gym was never in my thoughts. It would be a waste of money for me because I know me:
I’m inherently lazy.
Nap, sign me up.
Run, I’ll do that on a Saturday or Sunday when I’m not napping.
A gym fee was something I simply did not want to have regardless that I always liked working out when I got to the gym.

For months, I passed this training centre and their marketing signs. It wasn’t a skinny pretty bitch who needed to eat something but looked like real people using what they were selling: their facilities. I’d check their website out, ponder about how many times I’d go, was it worth it and close the browser without another thought.

Let’s flashback to November 2010, I weighed some ungodly amount. I didn’t own scales, but I was at least a US size 14-16 and I look back at the photos of me and think WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK SHELIA!?! I was handling my mom’s death from Dec 2009 the best way I knew: drinking every night, eating terrible, and staying out all night on the weekends.

And then in March 2012, I weighed 153 lbs (69.4 kgs). I was in Detroit, fat & miserable but at least not as heavy as 2010 Shelia. I started training for a half marathon and by October 2013, I was down to 121 lbs (54.9 kgs). I didn’t do anything the right way or the healthy way. I just knew I couldn’t run a marathon without my weight crushing my knees.

But then in 2014, the weight started to creep back on because I was unhappy in Detroit and it snowed all the damn time. By 2015, I was back to 140 lbs (63.5 kgs), now I was unhappy in Columbia with a high stressed and emotionally crippling job and verbally abusive boss.

By the time 2016 rolled around, I was living in Australia. Happy and living my best life and back to 2013 weight and somewhat healthier. THEN I got a job that would see me stress eating at my desk ALL DAY. And not stress eating good food but craptastic food. This job would in the end give me a near nervous breakdown, trigger all of my depression and anxiety and put the weight back on me.

I left in that job in March 2018. Doing so changed my life. I found happiness again even if I was a bigger version of me.

November 23, 2018: exactly 1 week after my 43rd birthday, on that Friday morning with a Full Moon in Gemini that evening and Neptune, Uranus, & Mercury in retrograde and the start of Sagittarius Season, I walked into Flow Training Centre ready to change my life.

I didn’t have a target weight loss.
I didn’t have a target lift goal.
I was armed with a list of Why a Personal Trainer Now and Why I Can’t Do this Alone.
I was armed with the desire to not be a fat lazy sloth and that I wanted something “spiritual” for my body.

I JUST WANTED TO BE A BETTER AND HEALTHIER VERSION OF ME.

I would say hello to Marcus, (@barefoot_trainer👣).
We went through my lists and we talked.
He listened to me babble and he took me on as a client (or to be a pain in his ass…kidding).
I knew I wanted to train 2 days a week for 12 weeks.
But what I didn’t know as I paid for my 12 weeks of personal training, that it and especially Marcus, would change my life as I knew it. Thank you Marcus.

It’s now 12 weeks later…
I am a better and healthier version of me.
I am doing it the right way and it feels amazing.
Some days I want all the unhealthy carbs in the world but mostly, I don’t miss them.

The first 2 weeks were hard.
My body and definitely my mind were confused with what was going on. Both kind of hated the part of my soul that was seeking spiritual growth through being healthy.

The 3rd week in, I found the dedication and focus I needed and was fully committed to the changes I needed to make in my life, my habits and in me. I had at this point also decided that I would sign up for another 12 weeks if Marcus would continue to train me.

The 4th week in, I hit my first speed bump: Why am I doing this. This sucks. I hate vegetables. I hate fruit. I want a goddamn cookie.

Weeks 5 through 11 were mostly highs and a low one here or there, but  every day my dedication, focus, the desire to add more good, and be healthier increased. My weight slowly decreased and my muscle gain slowly increased. My body has accepted the aches and pains and enjoys them.

This final week, Week 12, I have a bit of a head cold. I’ve trained with Marcus as planned but in my “off days” (doing it on my own), I’ve failed a bit. Not going as hard or not working out at all. I’m listening to my body. It’s asking for a bit rest as it knows what is coming in the next round of 12 weeks…more intense butt kicking by Marcus. A part of me feels guilty for not working out as hard on my own, but I also know that if I don’t rest, I stand to ruin what I’ve worked so hard for in the last 12 weeks. There is a balance and finding that has been my biggest struggle. I currently rather be healthy more than anything and deprive myself of anything indulgent but goddamn it, I enjoy a great glass of whiskey.

	Start	Week 12
Bodyweight kg	67.5	62.1
Bodyweight lbs	148.8	136.92
Body Fat %	37.6%	30.8%
Fat Mass kg	25.38	19.10
Lean Body Mass kg	42.12	42.97

I will always see 2010 Fat Shelia in the mirror because she motivates me to be a better me now. I wouldn’t be where I am now without her. Because of her, I have found something that brings me joy and is spiritual for not only my heart, mind, soul, but especially my body.

I know there are times I am asked to work to muscle failure and drives me to make the next round of muscle failure reps to be one extra rep. I like seeing the slow change in my body. I like pushing the limits of what my mind thinks my body can do.

I can’t wait to see what happens in the next 12 weeks.

1. 2010 Fat Shelia
2. 4 Wks (Dec 2018)
3. 8 Wks (Jan 2019)
4. 12 Wks (Feb 2019)