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Songs of My Life: February 2017

In my journal, I made myself answer the question: What is right about me that I’m not getting? One of the answers that stood out the most was this: “I’m a person with depression and anxieties but I don’t let that stop me from living and experiencing life or loving someone.” Life isn’t packaged in a pretty box with a bow. It’s much like a Jackson Pollack painting. … Continue reading Songs of My Life: February 2017

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Songs of My Life: December 2016

December started out on a positive note, fell to shit around the middle, and is ending in a ¯\_(ツ)_/¯  <— I think that emoji really could sum up the whole of 2016 along with these 3 letters: WTF. It could definitely sum up the last week of December with the deaths of George Michael, Carrie Fisher, Debbie Reynolds, Richard Adams and spaceman Piers Seller (and that’s … Continue reading Songs of My Life: December 2016

Songs of My Life: November 2016

November felt like it moved as slow as molasses on a winter day. There was something askew with November. I felt as I was walking through a haze, a cloud but maybe Lorelei Gilmore said it best in the episode of “Fall” in Gilmore Girls, “I feel like I’m standing still.” I just felt off this month. Maybe it was my vibrational energies, my biorhythms, it being … Continue reading Songs of My Life: November 2016

Songs of My Life: October 2016

Musically, the songs of October were mostly personal notes to myself. Reminders of what I was feeling and that it’s okay to feel it. Notes that reminded me to smile even though “worry and change spun me around and my big old heart has been ripped right out.” Notes that sang that it’s okay to be “here and heartsteady”, notes that let me know being who I am and the way I am is just fine even if someone might not understand how I work and notes that said it’s okay to be by the side of someone you deeply care for even if they might not feel the same or would do the same. The month ends with Lady Gaga and her song a “Million Pieces” and it’s a perfect ending to October and in reflection sums up a lot of 2016…A million reasons to walk away but just needing one good one to stay. For me, in October, I didn’t battle my demons, I battled on not giving up on dreams. Specifically, my Australia dream. Within 2016 alone, I was given a million reasons to give up on my Australia dream and each time I thought about quitting, the Universe gave me a reason not to quit. October gave me one good reason to stay.

Continue reading “Songs of My Life: October 2016”

Songs of My Life: July 2016

Someone asked if these were really songs that hit me over the month and the answer is yes. Each month new songs, new moments. They’re in the exact order from top to bottom from beginning to end of the month. Some months when I review the songs, I see patterns. Some months, I don’t see any. At the end of every week, I try to sit down and listen to the list and sometimes, as soon as I hear the song and it hits me, I make a note why it’s there. Sometimes I forget why they get dragged into the list. These songs though are part of me, part of my soul. They capture feelings I want to share or feelings I want to hide. They capture moments or thoughts. Songs that hit me the hardest linger in my head. Songs that make me smile, I go to every time I need that smile. Songs that make me teary-eyed, I ask myself why. Continue reading “Songs of My Life: July 2016”